


Don’t Leave

by Maskwa



Series: Late Nights (collection of one shots) [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: !!, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Crying, Cuddles, Cutting, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugging, Hurt, Hurt Peter Parker, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love Confessions, M/M, Men Crying, One Shot, Peter Parker & Wade Wilson - Freeform, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson - Freeform, Precious Peter Parker, References to Depression, Sad, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Spideypool - Freeform, Suicidal Thoughts, Tears, The Author Regrets Nothing, Wade Has Issues, Wade Wilson Needs A Hug, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 05:57:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17892812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maskwa/pseuds/Maskwa
Summary: Wade is completely unaware of Peter’s inner struggles with depression and suicide. Until, he finds the teen a crying mess one night in his bedroom.





	Don’t Leave

The razor blade was cold as Peter pressed it against the skin on his hip. He gasped quietly feeling the sharp and flawless edge break his skin and draw blood. The teen bit his lip at the sight of the bright red blood and did another cut just under the first. 

Peter sighed. He cut, never enough to kill himself only enough to feel the tingles throughout his body. The teen loved it, the pain took his mind off what was killing him inside long enough so he would be able to fall asleep. He pulled his new hoodie sleeves down, the soft and fluffy insides brushing over the bumpy scarred skin of his wrists. Aunt May would freak and break into tears if she knew what he was doing to himself, he felt guilty hiding from her but she could never ever understand. Nobody could. Peter moved his eyes over the other scabs and scars along his hips, he was running out of room. Peter grabbed both sides of the sink and looked at himself in the mirror, he looked awful. Purple bags were under his eyes, his faces was bruised from getting into a fist fight last night with a burglar who was stronger and faster then he looked, his skin was pale from not eating right, and his hair was beyond messy. And not the cute messy, the I-haven’t-left-my-bed-for-days kind of messy.

Peter sighed and brushed his teeth, putting his head phones on and turning the music up loud enough on his phone so he couldn’t hear himself think. 

As he left the bathroom ready for bed, Peter sat on the bed and pulled his skinny jeans off and replaced them with comfortable night shirts. He made a mental note to clean his room before Aunt May got back from her “girl’s trip” on the weekend. His Spider Man suit probably needed a wash too, he grabbed a pen and wrote “clean shit” on his hand before tossing it to the ground. 

Peter opened the window to his room and let the cold night air fill his room and rush through his hair. It was a windy Thursday night in New York, he closed the window again and turned the lights off in his room flopping down on the bed. He eyed his Spider Man suit which hung obnoxiously in the closet, it stared out at him. Peter shook his head closed his eyes and settled on his side facing the wall. It wasn’t long before Peter ripped the music out of his eyes and stomped across his room to the closet and grabbed his red and blue suit. It gripped it so tight his nails dug into his palms thought the fabric. 

Peter hated and loved being Spider Man. 

He squeezed his eyes closed and pressed the suit to his forehead letting out an angry and exhausted scream, he crouched down to a back catchers position in base ball. Peter felt tears prick his eyes and he let them fall, knowing nobody was around to comfort him. Peter sighed and hung the Spider Man suit back on the hanger and closed the closet door laying back on his twin bed. He felt his tears streaming from his eyes and he kicked on his radio at the foot of his bed, it immediately connected to his phone and played his “hey I’m depressed and nobody knows” playlist which was his go to. 

Peter pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes and smelt the blood on his wrists. He grit his teeth and let out a slow breath. 

The teen loved being Spider Man because he helped people. He was there for the when nobody else is, he saves them from the bad that threatens their city, he helps old lady’s cross the street safely, he helps kids walk to school, he saved young women from rapists in dark streets, he stops drug traffickers and gives the cops the drugs and doesn’t accept payments from them when offered. He just loved being someone that people would feel safe around. But, as much as he helped people... he never got anything back. 

He hated being Spider Man because the stress and the pressure was almost too much sometimes. He was only ever able to go out for patrol on weekends and sometimes he would have so much to do a night he wasn’t able to help everyone, and other nights there was nothing he could find to help fix. Which always left the teen with the empty feeling of uselessness. His relationships with his friends were slowly falling apart, they feel he has too many secrets to hide now. And the most important person in his life, Aunt May of course, was starting to get frustrated with him all the time, he would come home late he would sleep all day and wake up with bruises. It was hard. It was so hard to keep her safe from the truth about who he was, and Peter hated seeing his aunt worry about him. 

The only person in the world that knew both who he was with and without the mask was-

Peter startled out of his thoughts at the sound of a knock on his window. He jumped out of bed and wiped his face, he grabbed a heavy Debate Club trophy which was on his computer stand and gripped it tightly, his web slingers across the room on his night stand. Just in case. The hooded and large figure outside his window made his room black and Peter’s spidey sence was going crazy, sending tingles up and down his spine in warning. He blinked the tears away and his body stiffened when the window effortlessly swung open. 

“Okay I know sneaking in through windows is your thing, but I had to try it.”

Peter relaxed. “Jesus Wade you gave me a heart attack.” He put the trophy back where he got it. 

The scarred mercenary grinned from under his hoodie. “Hey webs.” He let himself in and Peter closed the window behind him. 

“What are you doing here-“

Large hands gripped the teen’s shoulders and lips quickly pressed against his own. Peter melted against the larger more muscular man, gripping onto his forearms for support. Peter moaned into the kiss as Wade forced his mouth open and their tongues met. Wade held the teen’s cheeks in his hands and rubbed his cheek bones with his thumbs, he smiled into the kiss when Peter moaned again. 

Wade pulled back quickly and smiled at the teen. “Eager tonight are we?”

Peter rolled his eyes, he smiled up at the man as he snaked his slender arms under Wade’s and pulled his hood down to reveal his face. “Hi handsome.” Peter smiled seeing the familiar pair of bright blue eyes and the mesmerizing scars littered across his features. 

Wade chuckled. “You need to get your eyes checked Pete.” Wade smiled down at him, but frowned slightly after a second. “Are you crying baby boy?”

Peter pulled away from his hold, panic flooding his body. He hugged his arms around himself and turned away from the man. “Why are you here Wade? It’s 3 in the morning.”

“Why are you still up don’t you have school tomorrow?” Wade stepped closed to the teen but didn’t touch him, “And what? I have to call ahead and book an apointment to see my cute little boyfriend now?”

Peter stared at his bare feet on the carpet in his small bedroom, a small smile came to his lips. “We’re not even dating Wade, and yes I have school tomorrow.”

Wade sighed slightly. “I asked another question too Pete.”

“Really what was it?” He avoided eye contact with Wade as he went to turn the volume down on his Bluetooth speaker. 

“Are you crying?” Wade’s voice was calm and gentle, but full of worry. 

Peter shook his head, “Why the hell would I be crying?” His tone was more aggressive and angry then intended. 

“I dunno-“

“I’m not!” Peter snapped, still keeping his back turned.

Wade was startled at the outbreak. 

Peter sighed and hid his face in his hands. “Wade I’m sorry, just tried and stressing out.” 

“No worries Petey.” Peter could hear his bed creak under the weight of the mercenary sitting down on it. “C’mere and tell me what’s up. I didn’t come here just because we’re soulmates-“

Peter smiled for a second and wiped his eyes as he sat beside the muscular man on his bed. 

“Cause we are and you know we are, don’t you Petey pie?” Wade chuckled and wrapped an arm around the teen’s smaller shoulders when they sat with their sides touching. “I came here cause I missed you baby boy.” Wade whispered feeling Peter lean against his body. “4 days away from your sweet ass is too much.” 

Peter smiled closing his eyes as he leaned his head on Wade’s shoulder. 

“But real talk now, if there’s something bothering you just tell me and I’ll try to help you feel better. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Wade squeezed his eyes closed. “Shit now I wanna watch that movie and cry when her sexy boyfriend dies.”

Peter chuckled. 

Wade smiled at the sound. He pulled back to look at the teen curled against him, Wade traced his finger along Peter’s jaw. Peter’s cheeks flushed as Wade eyed his lips and traced over his soft plump lips with his thumb, “Pretty.” Wade grinned as he held Peter’s cheek and kissed him softly. 

Peter sighed into the kiss and wrapped a hand around the back of his scarred head, he pulled him deeper into the kiss. Wade smiled as Peter adjusted himself so he was sitting facing him on the bed. 

Wade pulled back and rested their foreheads together. “Pete I hate when you lie to me, so just tell me why your crying. I know you were, promise I won’t laugh or anything. Over protective boyfriend I know.”

Peter sighed and grabbed Wade’s wrist tugged them closer, it was awkward as they shuffled and adjusted to lay facing each other on the teen’s thin twin bed. Peter avoided eye contact, but could feel Wade’s eyes on his. Peter only wrapped a hand around Wade’s torso as if to to hold him there, Peter felt his body warm when Wade wrapped a heavy arm around his waist. “Don’t leave me.” 

Wade kissed the teen’s forehead. Something was definitely wrong with Peter, it scared the living shit out of him, but he controlled his emotions best he could. “I won’t webs, I’m here.”

“Don’t leave, please don’t leave.” Peter whispered into his chest over and over. 

Wade swallowed thickly and rolled onto his back tugging Peter with him, so he was using his chest as a pillow. Wade closed his eyes hearing Peter start to cry, and feeling the tears drip onto his sweater and soak through. “I’m here Peter, I’m here. I’m never gonna leave you.” He had to bite his tongue to contain a joke. 

Peter curled against the muscular body around his, feeling safe in the mercenary’s arms. There was guilt building up in his chest, he wasn’t too sure why but he had a feeling it was about lying to Wade. Making him think he was happy when he just wanted a shoulder to cry on, Peter was always one to deal with his problems by himself and he preferred it that way. He hadn’t bothering people with his high school typical teenage boy problems. Well, maybe not so “typical”, he was Spider Man after all. He was never one to trust easily, never one to tell his problems and have to depend on other people for anything. 

But it was different with Wade. 

And maybe they were in fact soulmates, who knows, but Peter felt something with Wade he never felt with anyone else. He wanted to tell him everything that was bothering him and he wanted his help. If there was one person in the world that Peter could truly be himself with, it was Wade fucking Wilson. And Peter has no idea why it was the mercenary, but he was his person. 

“I think you’re my person.” Peter muttered against his chest. 

“Like, I’m the Meredith to your Christina?”

Peter nodded.

Wade chuckled. “The other term for that is soulmates sugar.” 

Peter smiled. 

Suspicions confirmed. Wade was the one. Wade was the one person in the world that Peter could depend on and seek comfort from. He felt stupid for it, but also a strange sort of comfort at the thought. 

Peter sat up and smiled at the man laying in his bed. One arm was still holding his hip and the other was tucked under his head, he was beautiful. Peter blushed, how had he managed to attract such a gorgeous man? Wade tilted his head a little and the corner of his lips turned up into a reassuring small smile, a smile that said “I here for you, I’m not going anywhere”, Peter needed to see that smile from often from him. Peter sighed and sat with his knees to his chest and his arms wrapped around them tightly. Wade sat up with him and just watched heartbroken as tears escaped the teens’s sad hazel eyes and rolled down his cheeks slowly. 

“Wade, I gotta tell you something.”

Wade nodded. “I think so too kid.” 

Peter turned his head to the side and their eyes locked. His rested his cheek on his knee and watched as Wade’s eyes scanned his features. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks as Wade placed a hand on his back and gently rubbed small circles. 

The teen wanted so desperately to get everything off his chest and tell the man how he felt and what was bothering him. He wanted to tell Wade he had thought and even planned a few times to take his own life, Peter wanted to tell Wade all the suicidal thoughts that crossed his mind on a daily basis when he was alone. He wanted to show Wade how he cut himself and how he was covered in small self harm scars all over his hips and thighs and started to cut cautiously on his wrists. He wanted to tell Wade everything because he trusted him and he didn’t like to keep secrets from him.

“If you wanna tell me what’s bothering you, Petey you know I’m always going to be here for you, no matter what. But if you need more time I can like go and-“

“No Wade,” Peter grabbed onto his arm quickly. “don’t leave me alone. Stay tonight, please, I need someone.”

Wade eyed him. 

“You’re all I got Wade.” Peter whispered, tightening his grin on the mercenary’s forearm. 

“Okay Pete, I need you to start talking. You’re freaking me out.”

Peter closed his eyes and leaned his head on Wade’s shoulder as he snaked his hand down his arm and laced their fingers together. Peter took in a deep breath and squeezed his eyes closed. “I’m so unhappy Wade.”

“With what?” Wade whispered cautiously. Peter was finally telling Wade what was on his mind and the mercenary didn’t want to destroy this sensitive moment. 

“With everything.” Peter’s voice was barely louder then a whisper. “I probably sound selfish but I don’t care, being Spider Man is amazing and all, but what’s in it for me? Ya know? It’s ripping my life apart, my friends don’t talk to me cause I’m so distant from them, Aunt May’s worried about me and I hate seeing her like that. Wade I don’t know what to do anymore. My grades in school are dropping from having no time, I can’t hold a job so how do I ever think I’m gonna be able to move out? I can’t have Aunt May working for me all her life, I can’t make her do that.” Peter felt tears soaking the neck line of his hoodie, “I just don’t know what to do anymore. Being Spider Man has changed my life, yeah of course for the better but, I just don’t know if it is for the better for me or just everyone else Wade. And I’m sorry cause I know I just shit this all on you and I’m sorry if this seems like a lot and just like came outta no where, but this has been bugging me for so fucking long. I’m lost Wade, I just wish I could be that funny helpful guy that puts on the Spider Man suit like I used to be. And now I can barely get outta bed and find motivation to finish the day.”

Wade tightened his grip on Peter’s hand, barely enough for him to feel. “What are you saying baby boy?”

Peter curled against his side and hid his face in his chest. He took a deep breath before looking up and Wade’s heart broke seeing his red eyes, the purple bags beneath them, his pale skin whiter then usual. He just looked sick. The teen looked so broken and lost and defeated. “Wade, I’ve never told anyone this.” Peter looked away, “But you don’t know how bad I want to kill myself sometimes.”

Wade’s eyes went wide. Had he really just heard that coming from the most important person in his life? Had he really just heard that from Peter Parker?

“Sometimes when I’m on top of a roof, I close my eyes and all I wanna do is let myself fall. Fall down and not use a web to catch myself, I wonder how it would feel to fall right down to the cement. With no one around and no one to call the ambulance as I just, die.” Peter closed his eyes and sighed. “Wade, I hate myself and hate when I’ve let myself become. Like how did this happen? How did Peter Parker, that smart kid in high school who got hundreds in every class and aced every assignment and test, go to barely showing up to class anymore because he can’t get out of bed. Wade how did this happen to me? I’m Spider Man for shit sakes, I’m suppose to help people but, again I know this is just selfish petty teenage boy stuff, who’s there to help me? Like fuck I’m there for everyone in New York, at least I try to be best I can.” Peter opened his eyes and wiped his tears away slowly. “I don’t know what to do anymore Wade. To be honest the only reason I haven’t overdosed on whatever pills are in the cabinet downstairs, is because of you.” Peter leaned against him again, he squeezed his eyes closed feeling Wade’s body more stiff then he was before. 

Wade looked at the teen curled against him. This kid was perfect, he seemed to have everything and seemed like he was going places with his life. Peter was happy, he was funny and smart and cute and lovable. How could anyone, see what he was hiding? No one could read him because he was always so mysterious, he hid his feelings for the better of others. He had to live on constant edge because one wrong move and everyone would know he was Spider Man, one wrong move and everyone in his life would know he was suicidal and the only person keeping him on earth was Wade fucking Wilson. 

“Pete look at me.” Wade whispered kissing the top of his head, the teen pulled back and looked up at his with such sad hazel eyes. “This probably isn’t the best time to tell you.” Wade felt a slight blush creep up to his cheeks. 

Peter tilted his head and watched at the mercenary was clearly having an internal battle with himself. And probably with those weird voices in his head that he was friends with. 

“Ah fuck it.” Wade smiled at the teen. “Just lemme kiss you first.”

Peter smiled and Wade felt a small victory. They leaned into each other and when their lips brushed together, slowly and softly. Peter broke down, being so close to the man and so open. He tears didn’t subside as Wade grabbed the teen’s hips and lifted him into his lap, Peter smiled into the kiss as Wade sat on the bed with his back against the wall and Peter straddling his thighs. Wade wrapped the teen in his arms tightly pulling their bodies together and kissed along his jaw up to his ear. 

“I love you.”

Peter’s hands were trembling as Wade kissed his temple, his closed eyes, cheekbones, his nose. Anywhere on the teen’s perfect face that could be kissed and loved, was loved. Peter smiled when Wade kissed his tears away and the corner of his lips. 

“I love you.”

Hearing those little words whispered again made Peter’s heart swell and beat faster and faster he thought he was going to have a heart attack. Wade smiled and cupped Peter’s cheeks in his hands. 

“You hear me? I love you Pete.”

Peter nodded and wrapped his arms around Wade’s shoulders. He felt the teen smiling as he buried his face into his neck, tears still escaping from his eyes but Wade just hoped for a totally different reason now. Wade felt his own eyes start to sting as he wrapped his arms around the teen’s back, leaving no space left between them. The mercenary turned his head to kiss Peter’s check and hugged him tighter. 

Then he heard him mumble something. 

“What was that sugar?” Wade whispered.

Peter pulled back slowly and smiled at Wade, bringing his hands up to hold his cheeks. Peter eyed his lips while he started stroking the older man’s cheekbones, his thumbs dragged slowly across the scarred uneven skin. Then he stopped and they stared into each other eyes, “I love you too.”

Wade smiled so wide he cheeks started hurting. He held Peter’s hips and laid him on the bed, both smiling as they closed their eyes with a passionate kiss. Wade slipped his hand under Peter’s hoodie as their lips moved and rocked together in a slow kiss. Pouring all their emotions toward each other into their kiss. It showed how they felt for each other without words, without drastic actions or movements. Just a simple yet powerful kiss. The mercenary crawled over the teen and Peter who pressed his knees into Wade’s sides as he let him hover over him and spread his legs gently, the teen wrapped his arms around his shoulders. 

“I love you Wade,” Peter whispered breathlessly between kisses, “god I love you so so much Wade.”

Wade frowned feeling his fingers wet beneath the teen’s hoodie. He pulled back from Peter and looked at his hand, and what he saw made his heart break.  
Peter squeezed his eyes closed and leaned his head back against the pillow seeing Wade’s expression. 

“Babe?” Wade whispered softly, peeling his eyes away from his bloody hand and looking at him. 

Peter kept his eyes closed and Wade sat back on his knees watching as Peter pulled the bottom of his hoodie up to expose his body. 

“Oh god Pete.” Wade whispered. 

Cuts and cuts were littered across the waist band of his shorts. The cuts were mostly covering his hip bones, some completely healed making shiny scars, others were half healed making purple and red scars. Then there were the scabs and the fresh cuts from only an hour ago. 

Peter’s eyes filled with tears again as he opened his eyes. “Wade.”

Wade hooked his finger into the waist line of his shorts and pulled them down an inch, just enough to see if there was more hidden beneath the clothing. And there were, just as many that were scattered across his lip bones. Wade closed his eyes as tears began to form. He hated and blamed himself for not noticing how broken the love of his life was, hated how he never though twice about Peter being quiet when they were together, never thought anything about how he was getting more and more reckless. Now that he thought about it, Wade could see all kinds of examples of Peter hinting at his inner pain. 

Peter ran a hand down Wade’s cheek, who opened his eyes meeting tears run down his scarred cheeks. Peter closed his eyes as he pulled his sleeves up to under his elbows. 

“Pete.” Wade’s voice trailed off seeing the cuts that were along his inner arm. How could someone cause them self so much pain and hide it so well? Wade held his arms in his hands and it took everything in him not to squeeze his hands closed around the teen’s slender fore arms and crush them. Peter opened his eyes when he felt Wade’s lips pressed to his skin, the mercenary smiled at the teen softly then combed a hand through his thick brown hair. “I’ll brb.”

Peter watched as Wade got to his feet off the bed and could hear the light to the washroom flick on. The teen closed his eyes as he waited for the other to return. He felt a strong sense of relief, telling Wade what was bothering him and showing him what he was doing to himself for so long now. There was a weight that was lifted off his chest knowing he didn’t have to hide his mental illness from Wade, he was happy he told the mercenary, and even happier with his calm and gentle response. This was all so out of character for Wade, before Peter had ever told him he was half thinking Wade wouldn’t be able to handle the stress of just him knowing and make a big joke of Peter’s feelings. He wouldn’t lie if he thought briefly that Wade would leave him, find him too fucked up to still hang around. 

Peter ran a hand down his face and looked at the fresh cut on his hip. There was dried layers of blood on his stomach, and blood still seeping from the wound. Peter groaned loudly and tugged on the ends of his hair.

“Don’t be sad.” Wade entered the room again and flicked the washroom light off, the soft glow disappearing. “I’m gonna help you baby boy.”

Peter opened his eyes to see Wade kneel on the bed. “What do you mean? How?”

Wade smiled and pulled up Peter’s hoodie and pressed the wet cloth he had against the cuts. “Well I’m gonna be here for you, and I mean as much as I can Pete.” He broke eye contact to look at and wipe the dried blood away.

“How much is, as much as I can?” Peter closed his eyes, smiling and blushing when he felt Wade pull the cloth away and place a kiss on his hip. 

“Baby boy.” Wade whispered sitting up again, making Peter open his eyes. “Your never ever gonna be able to get away from me.”

Peter chuckled and closed his eyes again. 

“I am your favourite person aren’t I?” Wade grinned. 

Peter rolled his eyes, grabbed and pulled the pillow out from under his head and hit Wade, who was now seated on his thighs, with it. Wade laughed as he pushed the pillow aside. Wade pressed the cloth against Peter’s hip a bit harder and pulled it back, when the bleeding had stopped he tossed the cloth hitting the bathroom door. Wade looked at Peter and they stared at each other for a second, just taking in each other’s features and expressions. 

Wade grabbed the pillow and wrapped his hand under the teen’s neck and lifted his head just enough to put the pillow under. Peter smiled when Wade leaned down to kiss him, again snaking his hands down his thighs and hooking his hands under his knees and lifting them slightly just to be between the teen’s legs. Wade pulled back and kissed Peter’s cheek before looking at him. “Are you okay?”

Peter smiled as Wade grabbed one of his hands and laced their fingers together kissing the back of it before pressing it against the pillow beside his head, his eyes full of worry and question. Peter nodded and leaned into Wade’s hand when he placed it on his cheek. “As long as your here with me Wade.”

Wade stuck his pinky finger out, causing a confused look to cross Peter’s features. “Will you do me the honour, if I had a ring right now you know I’d be on one knee asking you, but since I don’t I’ll just ask you as we lay our lazy-in-love asses in bed. But Peter Parker, will you do the honour and be my cute and sexy little boyfriend?”

Peter smiled seeing the blush cross the older man’s features. It was a dumb way to ask, but he didn’t care, this was Wade and Peter could tell that he was being serious. “Of course I’ll be your boyfriend Wade Wilson.”

They locked their pinky fingers together and gripped tightly before pulled apart, still looking into each other’s eyes.

The mercenary smiled and kissed him again. Wade kept their lips together as he wrapped Peter in his arms and rolled onto his back, he could felt Peter smile into his kiss as he grabbed the blanket and tugged it over them. Peter pulled back and eyed Wade’s scarred lips as Wade rubbed his hips up and down. “Wade, I’m sorry.”

“I accept your apology.”

Peter chuckled. “For real dumby.”

Wade smiled and nodded. “Don’t be sorry baby boy, I should be sorry I didn’t notice what you were fighting with.”

Peter sighed and closed his eyes. “Can we talk about this tomorrow?”

Wade nodded hugging the teen’s slender body tightly to his chest. 

“But for real thank you Wade,” Peter whispered, “thank you for not ditching and not thinking I’m fucked up-“

“Oh hunny you may as well be just as fucked up as me.”

Peter laughed and smacked his chest, “Fuck you.”

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Peter = me  
> Wade = no one


End file.
